Declining Summer
It's been awhile. I've had a very busy summer, though we did manage to make our annual trip to Chincoteague (see above).
I've also gotten quite a bit of writing done. Below is one of several poems I have finished over the course of the last couple of months. Comments welcome as always.
Torn From a Notebook
if it rained an ocean, I’d drink it dry
and lay me down dissatisfied --Townes van Zandt
... how in the middle of the night
it sits on your chest
like inert gas and seeps
through your pores
and caresses your nerve ends
until they quiver like wires.
When you get up
the coffee tastes of
metal and awakens but
imparts no energy.
Plowing your way
through a metro station
like a small boat overladen
in a crowded harbor you
are still utterly alone.
On the train you are
jostled, shaken, a dry
stick fallen away
from the bundle.
posted by Greg at 2:06 PM
8 Comments:
The metro images -- those resonate with me: "Plowing ...like a small boat overladen / in a crowded harbor you /
are still utterly alone... jostled, shaken, a dry stick..."
I still remember the feeling of riding a bus to my first job in downtown DC. I was 22 years old, living in a group house, and wondering why everyone on the bus looked so... alone.
Best thing to do in a crowded harbor? Raft. That is: three, four, five boats lashed side by side, to create one big platform where everyone still has a cabin, but everyone is no longer alone. That works for boats, though I doubt it'd work well for commuters. :-)
Thanks Alan! I like the raft image...I might steal that one.... :) Good to hear from you as always.
first thought i had was of guilt
but loneliness is like that too
images are so urban and alone
good writing
good mental picture
Thank you splendid!
Thoughtful as always.
The last few months I have taken to riding the bus to the Metro. I have noticed an odd feeling. On the bus it seems a neighborhood. The same people get on the train and they are strangers again.
Thanks John! A very interesting point. I do feel riding the train is much more impersonal than the bus. I've written a number of poems which started on one of my daily bus rides. Dig back in the archives if you've a mind to....
I love the urban images presented in such an interesting fashion. I've been on a similarly urban tangent myself lately, so it's neat to see what others do with the subject.
Thank you muse!
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