A Way of Saying It
"Poetry is not a thing, but a way of saying it."—A.E. Housman
Now that the election has come to its very happy conclusion, we can return to poetry. Here are two alternate versions of the poem I posted most recently. Comments welcome; I am still deliberating.
Gentle
the flow of water
under and around
the leaves on the
surface just ruffled
by a gentle breath
of wind gentle as
a sun ray on a
winter afternoon.
Revision 11/3/08
gentle the flow of water
under and around
the leaves on
the surface
just ruffled by
a gentle breath
of wind gentle as
a sun ray on a winter
afternoon
Revision 11/5/08
posted by Greg at 8:40 AM
2 Comments:
I vote for #2. It gets off to a better start.
Nic work.
Thanks Jim! I'm leaning that way myself; it restores what Naomi liked about the first while meeting some of my own concerns. Watch this space!
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